i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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