we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You left your phone here
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