The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
