i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Alive.
So much puke
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
