that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
