I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
birth control should be required to get into college
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
