What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
