he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
