dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
