Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
