yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
