all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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