i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
