i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This is my gift to your gina
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
