# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
