Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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