I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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