he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
