Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
