he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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