she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
