So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
