ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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