I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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