I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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