All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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