Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
