it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
