Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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