I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
