Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You smell like stripper and shame
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
