Just fell off a train. Bad.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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