what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
