He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
