how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
