My brain says no but my pants say off.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
