Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
