Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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