ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
