YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
