Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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