just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
