U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
