she looked like the before picture.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
