Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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