She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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