I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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