i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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