i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
