No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
