How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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