Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
