Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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